|
|
#1
10-07-2010, 02:25 PM
|
|||
|
|||
Where is my US26MILLION?
Dear Carl
You offered US$1MILL for an LRL that worked and the FBI offered a US$25Mill reward for a terrorists. I put forward the information and recieved a confirmation of assasination (perfect dead eyed **** single shot! If I don't mind saying so.) Now where's the cash? My bank account details are: Bank of Western Australia in the name of Mr Ian James Parker BSB 306-089 Account No.2557683 Or are you a man that goes against his word? For those who never read the thread before it was erased it read as; Captains log 1st May 2010 02:54 AM On planet earth the thought of precious metals in the soil was created by homo sapiens (big monkeys) as a trading tool or mechanism. Some of these monkeys (the Inca’s) would think that the metals were not precious and other commodities such as chocolate was precious and there for threw away gold cups after drinking chocolate from them. The earth creatures would stake claims and get leases to extract the precious metals and records were kept by a governing group of monkeys in an attempt to control the flow of the precious metals. To look for precious metals on planet earth it would be a foolish thought to build a detection system and go out and scan the country side as the precious metal deposits have already been located by the big monkeys and recorded in the form of geological surveys. Big monkeys built machines to extract the precious metals and stored the precious metals in places called banks. Some monkeys thought that the metals weren't that precious and instead the leaf of a plant was much more precious so instead of digging they grew their precious commodity and sat back in a hammock and watched the other monkeys dig the earth. A philosophical big monkey called Moses once walked up a hill and scribed his own "10 commandments" thoughts into a stone to try and govern all the monkeys whilst they mined the precious metals. But the working mining moneys were having a good time and thought "we'll fix him"! They grouped together and built mining companies like BHP (Broken Hill Pty Ltd) and decide to break the hill apart so that the Moses monkey couldn't go up there again and be a loner philosophical monkey anymore. The monkeys also grouped together and made monkey societies like the Royal Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals (RSPCA) in an attempt to stop people like Moses father. Moses father had a problem in that he didn’t get an invite to the mining party at the base of the mountain so he sent his son up a hill to spy on the party goers and write down everything that was wrong about the smiles on their faces, when in fact there was no problem and everyone at the base of the hill was enjoying life. Some people say the invite was written and got lost in the postal service, others say the secretary never wrote an invite because the secretary thought Moses father stunk of fish and they were a professional mining company and didn’t have time for smelly people. Philosophy was very popular within some of the big monkeys, a well noted one was by the name of Nostradamus who wrote and/or transcribed a book called the book of revelations in French Quarto. The misinterpretations of his plan to have all the races and religions pulled into one by the earth year of 2010AD caused major mental illness within the big monkeys to the point that some of them believed a meteorite was going to crash into the planet. Other big monkeys got together and mined metals and other resources and built a cage to keep other monkeys in. They called it NASA. When an illness struck the monkeys and they wanted to get off the planet earth they would be quickly rushed off to that big cage. One (female dr) monkey in that cage decided planet Mars was where all the monkeys on planet earth had to go, so in an attempt to cure herself she spread a mental illness in an attempt to trick all the other monkeys. She created micro machines. She thought that to get all the monkeys to Mars it would take a very, very long time. These monkeys by the way were only designed to have a life expectancy of around 70 earth years and Mars is a fair distance from planet earth. In an attempt to improve the life expectancy so that all the monkeys could go to some other planet far, far away, the female dr big monkey decided that all the other monkeys had to stop smoking and stop eating half rotten fruit that was falling of the trees (alcohol). The tobacco and half rotten fruit was liked by a lot of the working monkeys and there for became a commodity that could be traded. The NASA female dr's micro machines where released and immediately crashed into two planet earth trade centers. All the big monkeys heard the crash and swung from the trees singing Ou! Ou! Ou! while beating their hands on their chests. But THAT'S ENTERTAINMENT! And has nothing to do with precious metals in the soil of planet earth, unless! you want to act like a big monkey. The NASA female dr big monkey in an attempt to throw up a smoke screen invented a picture of a man to blame the crash on and showed this enough times to the FBI big moneys so that the FBI big monkeys would be tricked into spending countless earth days chasing an invisible man. A reward of U.S.$25,000,000 was also offered for this invisible man. Another cigar smoking monkey offered $U.S.25,000 for a LRL that worked. The working monkeys came to the conclusion that the monkeys that where being kept in the cage were there for a reason and the reason was they were mentally ill monkeys. The caged up mentally ill monkeys heard that the working monkeys were not paying their precious metals to watch them anymore so they invented a meteorite story and inputted this into the visual sensor of the working monkeys and told them if all the working monkeys didn't pay attention to the mentally sick monkeys in the cage, the meteorite would kill them all! The BHP engineer monkeys had an old fashion mining method called dowsing and used this in detecting and scanning the mentally ill meteorite monkeys as they spread across planet earth. Mummy and daddy monkeys had for years worked to trade precious metals and build homes for their baby monkeys. One day a U.S. baby monkey picked up some iron, turned it into a paperclip and painted it red (One red paperclip). He used this as a trading tool (swapped it) and within no time swapped enough times to gain a home. He told all the other U.S. monkeys what he was doing and they all joined in and started swinging from the trees singing OU! OU! OU! We now have a home! Upon doing this the baby U.S. monkey had totally devalued the entire monetary system, world wide. The precious metals that all the mummy and daddy monkeys had worked hard for all their lives for were suddenly turned obsolete. They were not required anymore according to the U.S. baby monkey. You didn't need precious metals from the planet earth, banks or monetary systems anymore. According to the U.S. baby monkey, just one red paper clip and a bit of U.S. baby engineering and you too can own your own home, literally overnight. The big gorilla monkeys at Interpol heard about this and thought, that’s wrong, it’s bank robbery. They lit some coal, melted all their paperclips on it and made some really heavy iron bars. The rest is earth history. Happy prospecting Dr Ernie 
|
|
#2
10-07-2010, 02:38 PM
|
|||
|
|||
|
Oh and here's the Hollywood version
|
 |
|
|
Linear Mode
