How to retire in style - for LRL manufacturers

[J_Player]

Tired of the same-'ole, same-'ole?

Are you just sick and tired of trying to scratch out a living making LRLs for the millions of customers on the waiting list for your back-ordered gizmoes? Are you tired of being so destitute that you need borrow spare change from the homeless to buy 555 tmers? Are you fed up with those wise-guy techies who try to make it look like your LRL is a scam?
Do you have poor eyesight? Are you slow at assembling LRLs, plagued with low IQ and technologically challenged? How will you ever make a buck in these troubling days of scrutiny?

...If only there were a way to end this saga of eternal torment and retire in style, like other folks who make an honest buck. But wait... suppose there was a way...

What if?
Just think...
No more answering emails, explaining theories, arguing about who is a liar.
No more fiddling with antennas, resistors or hot melt glue.
No more shipping, overhead or other annoying expenses.

You could spend the rest of your days managing your investments as you leisurely lounge around your stately mansion, in between vacations and trips to your weekend cottage at the lake. You could live in the same style as successful used car salesmen, lawyers, and politicians.

There is a way...
But how can you do this? How will you be able to own large bank accounts, a huge house on the hill, weekend cottages, villas in Southern France? The secret lies unseen by most LRL manufacturers. There is a way...

Every LRL manufacturer has an unseen asset that can make him rich without going through the daily torment of manufacturing and warding off skeptics who plague the industry. It is true! Most LRL manufacturers are so busy making gizmoes and answering emails that they never notice the hidden secret beneath their noses.

How to do it...
Yes, the secret is beneath your nose, right on the assembly line! Take a look at those cool gizmoes you are making for others to find treasure. You can get rich with one of those! You can find untold wealth in treasures, or even win huge prize money with your LRL gizmoe! I'm surprised the LRL manufacturers haven't thought of this. In fact I'm suprised the customers haven't thought of it either. Ok... how to do it?

1. First step: email Carl Moreland to send you a contract specifying the terms to win his $25,000 prize for locating hidden gold or silver bars. After finding Carl's hidden treasures from over 10 feet distance more than 7 times out of 10 tries, take home the cash to pay off your creditors, and go grocery shopping.

2. After eating a good meal, buy enough gas to drive to where Randi conducts his tests for the million dollar prize. Make sure you bring lots of friends with video cameras to document this test, so you can show the whole world on Youtube how your LRL finds the treasure. When you complete the Randi test and find all the hidden objects, you can take home his million dollar prize. Now we're talking.... Time to invest some money, and put a down payment on a huge house. But wait, there's more...

3. Post your videos on Youtube of the LRL finding all the hidden treasure in the Randi test. When treasure hunters see this, they will not be able to live without owning your LRL gizmoe, and your email will be flooded with orders. But you won't be toiling over LRL manufacturing any more... Remember? You are retiring to live the good life. What happens next? The price of your used LRL gizmoes begins to rise on ebay cause there ain't no more of em....

4. Order your servant to collect all your remaining inventory of factory fresh gizmoes and put them in storage. In 6 months, these new LRL gizmoes will be worth over $20,000 USD... not the measly $1000 - $3000 you previously charged. Let's do some math: 100 gizmoes x $20,000 = $2 million. Ok, slowly sell the last of your inventory on ebay ... now you have $2 million more to augment your investments. Time to shop for villas overlooking the ocean in Southern France, or maybe in Tuscanny...

5. You get the picture... No more trying to scratch out a living and fighting the skeptics. You are now living the good life. Have your servants contact your money manager to report to you monthly on the growth of your investments... That is, when you are not too busy with parties in Southern France, or vacationing in the sand by a palm tree.

Dang, am I dum.... I should have charged big $$$ for this information...

Best wishes
J_P